Tripfall Poster

I thought Tripfall was going to be about

Falling

(complete with Bob Saget & canned laughter), but instead it’s about Eric Roberts with some crazy short dreadlocks and John Ritter married to a supermodel (COMPLETELY plausible).

It starts out with a motley gang of thieves; the aforementioned Roberts, some blonde lady and a dude who talks like Patty and Selma Bouvier. They wear their sunglasses when they rob houses (so they can, so they can…). They then kill the the people they robbed.

We then catch up with the Ritter clan, who are off vacationing in exotic Santa Monica. His spoiled little brats demand $100 to blow in the arcade. The family then relaxes poolside, chit-chatting with the thieves about how great it is being married to a wealthy oil executive.

They become quick buddies with these unusual strangers, the women and kids whisk off to go shopping while the men make a bee line for the strip joint. While the ladies chat about relationships (Blondie’s husband cheated on her, doing someone else “up the butt”) Ritter gets his ass kicked and thrown into the back of a van. Blondie drugs Ritter’s wife and lures the kids back to the hotel. It’s a hostage scenario. 

Ritter is forced to have his net worth of $1.2M wired to California. He tries to alert the banker, but Eric Roberts outsmarts him at every turn, later killing dopey innocent bystanders as an example of his power and fury. The kids try to warn a pizza delivery guy and all hell breaks loose. Ritter manages to free his family and flee the scene, despite fumbling his car keys all over the place. Then Eric Roberts comes out of nowhere and blindsides the Rittermobile, ending their hopes of escape.

MopHead

(Criminal Mastermind in need of a good barber)

The family winds up bound and gagged in the van. Ritter tries half-heartedly to get the attention of a couple of cops, but they’re not interested (despite noticing the expired tags on the van and doing jack shit about it). They end up back at the bank to collect the loot and despite looking very awkward and terrified, they bank manager lets him walk out with the cash (“Hmm, that was rather strange. Oh, well…”)

Then Ritter finally grows a pair and knocks out Eric Roberts with the bag of cash, wrestles him on a pile of cardboard, then scampers off. He tries to set up an exchange for his family, which ends up bad for the kidnappers who all end up shooting themselves in very stupid fashion (Eric Roberts shoots himself in the gut and the blonde lady kills herself. Happy Ending!)

Tripfall is boring and insulting to its audience. There were plenty of opportunities for the Ritters to get help and even after they managed to free themselves, they were too stupid to go straight to the police. The fact that the Bank Manager didn’t hesitate to empty a customer’s out-of-state bank account was both stupefying and disturbing. I guess rich people asking for a Million dollars in cash while they’re on vacation is a common occurrence.

I’ll give this movie 3 out of 3 Cinnamon Bears. It’s awful, awful, awful. Even with John Ritter and crazy Eric Roberts. Actually, scratch that, BECAUSE of them. The dumb title should be a warning to you. Beware.

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